Been a while...

Where to start. There are so many things going on in my life right now. I am sure many people can relate to that statement!

Today the weather here in Raleigh was simply perfect. Even though it was nearly ninety degrees outside, it was beautiful, and it was also FRIDAY. So I made frozen pina coladas w/raspberries! Yum!

Now I should back up a bit... I should first warn any readers that there are some things that I need to say, some things that are eating away at me. If anything is offensive... I am sorry you feel that way.

Starting on February 5th, I offered a fellow co-worker a place to live. This co-worker had two teenage children; truthfully, two 'decently' well-behaved teenage children. They were all going to be homeless and it would only be for a month (right...). Did I mention they also had a very large dog and a cat? We all know where the story goes. A month turns into almost 2 months etc etc. Despite everything though, I have no regrets. It was worth cleaning after a thirteen year old girl, fifteen year old boy, fifty year old woman, 1 large dog, 1 small dog, and a cat, and even worth the feelings of extreme discomfort in my own home to ensure a comfortable stay for my guests. It was difficult to tell them they could not come back into our home again, but it simply had to be done. I must worry about my own family's needs first.

They were supposed to be out of the house before the arrival of my Brother and Sister-in-law. They weren't of course, but we managed to squeeze My husband, my four month old, my dog, myself, Catherine, her two kids, her dog and cat, my brother-in-law Spencer, and his wife, Abbie into a 3 bedroom, two story house. Incredible, I know. :-)

I'm a huge fan of having company. I love to entertain. It was quite pleasant having Brian's family in our home. Especially since all of our family live so far away, especially his! Their stay here in Raleigh seemed so short-lived. We enjoyed a wonderful day at the beach and several games of "Mormon Rook" and Mario Kart. We also enjoyed a wonderful Sunday at my church, which was quite unexpected. I'm sure it took nerve for them to attend a Southern Baptist church with us...Which brings me to my next thought.

My heart has become very hard lately. I have lost tolerance for religious lines. My husband being LDS never bothered me until the beginning of December when my Mother and Father-in-law visited. To put it lightly, they pretty much opened up Pandora's Box. Brian and I have not been the same since. Our marriage has been put to the test for sure. Thank God for my sweet, sweet child for holding us together and helping me to understand what is truly important as a parent and a wife.

It's not that my mother-in-law did anything wrong by "preaching" and pouring her heart out to me that I was holding my husband back from covenants he made with God. She simply opened my mind to a world of differences between myself and them. Me, the singular and them, the plural. After feeling like so much of my understanding of my own husband had been shattered, I felt lead to pour my heart into research of God's word. I studied every source available for the Book of Mormon and LDS doctrine, and of course the comparison to the Bible. I even considered the ultimate sacrifice of abandoning everything I know and converting to Mormonism to "save my husband" and essentially, my family. Not that I believed anything from the LDS doctrine, I simply wanted to make our family, a FAMILY. I didn't want to feel lonely anymore.

You see, I don't have any family left other than my very sick grandmother and a "father" that has nothing to do with us. So one can understand how it gets to be lonely when you cannot even relate in a spiritual sort of way to the man you've devoted to spend the rest of your life with. Deep down inside I've developed a self loathing. More than that I've developed a loathing for most anything associated with the Church of Latter Day Saints. I know this fact will hurt many people who may read this blog entry, I sincerely apologize.

I don't need to get into the many things I've uncovered in my research into the Bible and Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price. Some of my readers will be quite unfamiliar with a couple of those titles, as I once was, but I encourage those of you to research as well. It will certainly bring you closer to the grace and freedom of Jesus Christ in which I am familiar. I'm sure if I continue with my "preaching," it would only turn into more speculation and ridicule of a religion. There are many, many "mentionables" that will have to wait for another time. I, however, challenge the members of the LDS church to ALSO delve into research of their own church history and question their beliefs --if only to bring them closer to the salvation they know and already believe wholeheartedly.

I am pleased to report that this religious difference has tried and tested my marriage only to strengthen and nourish it. We are well on our way to familiar and similar religious lines to serve as a solid foundation to raise our daughter. I am proud to be married to Brian. He is smart and stubborn all at the same time. He is the most patient and trusting man I've ever known. God truly dwells in his heart and is working for our family and not against it. We study and research together and find meaning in God's true word. We will continue to grow as we begin to sincerely dive into His words and not the words of a 'prophet' who may or may not be 'true.' He is gaining a more open mind and heart to God's true sacrifice for our salvation and what it truly means to be saved. I'm proud of our family overcoming the odds and proud of Brian for being strong minded through what must truly be a difficult time for him.

I leave you, friends, with a few final thoughts to ponder. My Jesus Christ, Oh Lamb of God, was sacrificed so that we may live and dwell WITH God one day in the presence of His glory. No amount of good works or ceremonies of this Earth can replace the saving grace of God. The focus should always be on God and never on the vessel.

I Believe in the Cross and the Lamb who was slain for cleansing of our sins. I believe the Bible is the only true word of God and "no one shall add or taketh away from it," and that His grace is sufficient. Sufficient for ALL who are SAVED to dwell in His kingdom forever, and ever. Thank you Jesus for dying to save this wretched, lonely soul. He is risen. Amen. *Happy Easter Everyone*


Brian and I watched this video together today. It discusses the "Lost Book of Abraham." It was definitely an intriguing argument and we both agree on its content. Watch only with an open mind and spirit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcyzkd_m6KE&autoplay=1